Why wouldn’t she want to talk to me? It was funny people laughed! I so did not pee on her Emmy… because I would never do that. Yeah, I pulled it out, but I never peed! Never. Never! Well, if I dribbled I’m sorry, but come on! It was 10 years ago. You really won’t give me her number? Seriously? You really won’t? Fuck you. No, I did not just say “fuck you.”

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